Several people have asked if certain pictures could be included in this blog. We’re more than happy to comply. If you have any additional pictures we can include please email them to JeffNicoll@comcast.net
Sunday, November 16, 2008
At the memorial service many of us shared memories of Bruce. Jeff (Bruce’s older brother) read a letter to Bruce from Beth McKay. Beth worked with Bruce. She and Seth Gaboury were visiting Bruce when he passed away on July 2, 2008. Anne (Bruce’s favorite sister) read a Scottish Blessing as well.
*****************************************************
How do you say goodbye? By Beth McKay
How do you say goodbye? If anyone has a clue, I'd like to know, because it just doesn't sound right.
So instead I write a letter to you. Somewhere in a forever land of snowcapped mountains and rolling hills and Scottish moors and happy dogs, I imagine you sitting down to read this. Taking a break from some intricate puzzle you've been building, popping into the office for a bit, leaning against the doorway. In my head you are on a coffee break, and I guess you kind of are on a break from the meds and the radiation and the fatigue and difficulty breathing and the vision problems and the searching for words and the frustration in not finding them. A break from the cancer. Yes you are on a break.
Put down the hammer, pour yourself a glass of Laphroaig (the 15 year of course) and relax.
Hey Nick,
Back to work tomorrow and word of your leaving us will surely be starting to spread. I'm sure the guys at the site first, and then moving outward like ripples on a lake. The calls will come in and grown up tough guys will be reduced to quivering puddles again. They will be examining their own mortality. Which in a few cases, could be a good thing. But I digress.
I'm not sure I want to be there, my friend. Unless you'd like to pull in to the office driveway and stand silently, smooshing your nose and face onto my window, waiting for me to turn around and then fall off my chair in shock, like you did last summer. Or the day you came in and taped the computer mouse to the desk. You can come do that again. I promise I won't yell. Well not much anyways. Maybe just a little, until you break out into rolling laughter. And we follow suit. Doubled over, gut splitting, tears flowing laughter. Maybe you could do a little peanut butter on the steering wheel once more, that one was good too.
Or you could bring one of your gorgeous dogs in again. Max was it? You the proud doggy papa. Trying to convince me I needed to bring a Golden home to my family. I was convinced, you know. But the better half wasn't so much.
You could come in and tell me about Utah, and the mountains. I've finally seen them, and you were right. There's nothing like them. But you could tell me about them again, and I'd listen. Eagerly clinging to every word, we'd listen. And show me the pictures, again. Please.
How we are supposed to do this? This moving on, this one day at a time. We need to keep the forward momentum, but we don't want to leave you behind. Faith has brought me from here to Utah and back again, allowing us to leave there feeling you were at peace now. I'm digging my nails in and not letting go. This faith is an elusive thing. I held onto it for the last 6 months, and I promise to keep holding on, but it's hard and a bumpy ride.
Throw us a bone, let us know that it's all okay. Nothing hokey, no rainbows and God light, but a good old fashioned prank. Glue the shot glass to the table, or the phone to its cradle, or 12 sugars in someone's coffee.
Then laugh so we can hear you. So we can nod and smile and bust a gut ourselves and say "It's okay. He's on his break."
*****************************************************
Scottish Blessings
May the blessing of light be on you,
..light without and light within.
May the blessed sunlight shine on you like a great peat fire,
..so that stranger and friend may come and warm himself at it.
And may light shine out of the two eyes of you,
..like a candle set in the window of a house,
....bidding the wanderer come in out of the storm.
And may the blessing of the rain be on you,
..may it beat upon your Spirit and wash it fair and clean,
....and leave there a shining pool where the blue of Heaven shines,
......and sometimes a star.
And may the blessing of the earth be on you,
..soft under your feet as you pass along the roads,
....soft under you as you lie out on it,
......tired at the end of day;
and may it rest easy over you when,
..at last, you lie out under it.
May it rest so lightly over you that your soul may be out from under it quickly;
..up and off and on its way to God.
And now may the Lord bless you,
..and bless you kindly.
Amen.
*****************************************************
How do you say goodbye? By Beth McKay
How do you say goodbye? If anyone has a clue, I'd like to know, because it just doesn't sound right.
So instead I write a letter to you. Somewhere in a forever land of snowcapped mountains and rolling hills and Scottish moors and happy dogs, I imagine you sitting down to read this. Taking a break from some intricate puzzle you've been building, popping into the office for a bit, leaning against the doorway. In my head you are on a coffee break, and I guess you kind of are on a break from the meds and the radiation and the fatigue and difficulty breathing and the vision problems and the searching for words and the frustration in not finding them. A break from the cancer. Yes you are on a break.
Put down the hammer, pour yourself a glass of Laphroaig (the 15 year of course) and relax.
Hey Nick,
Back to work tomorrow and word of your leaving us will surely be starting to spread. I'm sure the guys at the site first, and then moving outward like ripples on a lake. The calls will come in and grown up tough guys will be reduced to quivering puddles again. They will be examining their own mortality. Which in a few cases, could be a good thing. But I digress.
I'm not sure I want to be there, my friend. Unless you'd like to pull in to the office driveway and stand silently, smooshing your nose and face onto my window, waiting for me to turn around and then fall off my chair in shock, like you did last summer. Or the day you came in and taped the computer mouse to the desk. You can come do that again. I promise I won't yell. Well not much anyways. Maybe just a little, until you break out into rolling laughter. And we follow suit. Doubled over, gut splitting, tears flowing laughter. Maybe you could do a little peanut butter on the steering wheel once more, that one was good too.
Or you could bring one of your gorgeous dogs in again. Max was it? You the proud doggy papa. Trying to convince me I needed to bring a Golden home to my family. I was convinced, you know. But the better half wasn't so much.
You could come in and tell me about Utah, and the mountains. I've finally seen them, and you were right. There's nothing like them. But you could tell me about them again, and I'd listen. Eagerly clinging to every word, we'd listen. And show me the pictures, again. Please.
How we are supposed to do this? This moving on, this one day at a time. We need to keep the forward momentum, but we don't want to leave you behind. Faith has brought me from here to Utah and back again, allowing us to leave there feeling you were at peace now. I'm digging my nails in and not letting go. This faith is an elusive thing. I held onto it for the last 6 months, and I promise to keep holding on, but it's hard and a bumpy ride.
Throw us a bone, let us know that it's all okay. Nothing hokey, no rainbows and God light, but a good old fashioned prank. Glue the shot glass to the table, or the phone to its cradle, or 12 sugars in someone's coffee.
Then laugh so we can hear you. So we can nod and smile and bust a gut ourselves and say "It's okay. He's on his break."
*****************************************************
Scottish Blessings
May the blessing of light be on you,
..light without and light within.
May the blessed sunlight shine on you like a great peat fire,
..so that stranger and friend may come and warm himself at it.
And may light shine out of the two eyes of you,
..like a candle set in the window of a house,
....bidding the wanderer come in out of the storm.
And may the blessing of the rain be on you,
..may it beat upon your Spirit and wash it fair and clean,
....and leave there a shining pool where the blue of Heaven shines,
......and sometimes a star.
And may the blessing of the earth be on you,
..soft under your feet as you pass along the roads,
....soft under you as you lie out on it,
......tired at the end of day;
and may it rest easy over you when,
..at last, you lie out under it.
May it rest so lightly over you that your soul may be out from under it quickly;
..up and off and on its way to God.
And now may the Lord bless you,
..and bless you kindly.
Amen.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
On October 12, 2008, we held a graveside memorial service for Bruce (Nick) at his marker in the Salt Lake City Cemetery. Bruce’s marker has been laid next to our father’s headstone. When Mom (Janet C. Nicoll) passes away she will be buried with Dad and Bruce’s ashes will be buried with the two of them. As part of the memorial service, Andy Nicoll and Betsy Bulkley (Bruce’s nephew and niece) created a video depicting portions of Bruce’s life. This video is approximately 9 minutes long
Monday, September 8, 2008
Graveside Service
There will be a graveside service held to honor Bruce's (Nick's) memory on October 12, 2008, tentatively planned for 10:00 AM MT. Please post a comment if you would like to attend.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
A quick Tribute to Bruce/Nick
This is a quick tribute to our brother and his interest in our Scottish heritage. May he Rest In Peace. He will be missed
Obituary for Bruce (Nick) Franklin Nicoll
Bruce (Nick) Franklin Nicoll
11/28/1950 – 7/2/2008
11/28/1950 – 7/2/2008
Bruce died of cancer July 2, 2008 in Salt Lake City, Utah. He was born November 28, 1950 in Salt Lake to Frank A. and Janet C. Nicoll. He graduated from East High School in 1969, lettering in swimming, and attended Weber State College and the University of Utah. He loved his Scottish heritage and affiliated with the MacNicol clan.
His professional life was spent in the Boston area renovating and restoring New England homes. Most recently he worked for Bensley & Gaboury, LCC.
He and his partner Jean Fraser, owned Thistle Croft, breeding golden retrievers. He is preceded in death by his father Frank, and his beloved goldens, Luke, Buck, Dealer, and Micki.
He is survived by his partner Jean and her children, his mother, Janet, and his siblings Jeffrey (Joyce), Anne (Barbara Miller), and Clifford (Bertha), his nephews and nieces, Christopher (Judy), Jen, Andrew (Karyn), Betsy Bulkley (Jory), Adam. Six great-nieces and -nephews also will miss his smile.
The Nicoll family thanks Jeff MacLeod, the Gaboury family, Beth McKay, and David Fraser for the love and friendship they showed Nick during his life and to his family in his final months. He will live in the hearts of those left behind. A private service is planned.
Bruce has passed away
Bruce passed away about 11:40 AM on July 2, 2008. We were fortunate to have his nurse Kim and his Sister-In-Law Joyce by his side at his passing. He also had two very close friends from work, Beth Mckay and Seth Gaboury, in the next room. His passing was peaceful for which we are all very grateful. At his request, Bruce's remains will be cremated and his ashes will be buried with his Father and Mother (when she passes away). A grave-side memorial service will be held at a future date.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Update on Bruce: May 21, 2008 (Happy Birthday Great Grandpa Nicoll!!!)
Re: his Team of Doctors:
Bruce has a very skilled multidisciplinary team working for him. His lung cancer doctor is Renato Martins MD, MPH Medical Director Thoracic/Head and Neck Oncology, who is located in the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance Clinic (SCCA). Dr. Martins is originally from Brazil, trained at Carney Hospital in Boston, resident at Gundersen Clinic in Wisconsin, Fellowships at Massachusetts General/Harvard Medical School, received a Masters in Public Health from Harvard and was Chief of Medical Oncology at the Brazilian National Cancer Institute.
His neurology team consists of Dr. Jason Rockhill, MD, PhD. a radiation oncologist, for his brain, and Dr. Maciej Mrugala, MD, PhD, MPH, a neuro-oncologist, for his spinal fluid. Both doctors are at the University of Washington Medical Center. (UWMC). Dr. Rockhill’s education is from the University of Illinois with a postgraduate residency at the UW Cancer Center. Dr. Mrugala graduated from medical school at the University of Warsaw and received his Ph.D. at Copernicus University in Poland.
Re: his Chest Tumors:
Bruce was seen by his chest oncologist (Dr. Martins) today who reiterated what we had learned from Dr Rockhill (his brain doctor) last week when we were able to compare his CT chest scan from last week with his CT scan from about a month ago. There was both good news and bad news. The bad news is that despite three different chemo “cocktails,” his chest tumors continue to grow in size and scope. The chemotherapy is having little effect on reducing or eliminating the 3 major tumors in his chest that Dr. Martins is tracking. Bruce doesn’t have many options for treatment remaining- at least treatments that have been show empirically to be effective.
Today, Dr. Martins gave Bruce the option of trying a drug given in pill form called Darceva. His doctor helped to bring this pill to market based on his own research. This is a pill that inhibits the growth of cancerous cells and has been most effective for people with lung cancer who have never smoked. Because of Bruce’s smoking history, this pill will probably be less effective in staving off the growth of cancer cells, but the doc did cite a couple of cases where patients with a smoking history have had success with the drug.
Bruce wants to try the drug and will start taking it as soon as his radiation treatment next week is complete (see below). The bad news about this new drug is that he will have to relive his teenage years and the curse of acne (a side effect along with diarrhea).
If this pill doesn’t work (we’ll need about 6 weeks and then run another CT scan to compare it to the CT scan taken last week) then probably the only recourse is to stop treatment of the chest tumors altogether or find a clinical trial with even greater risks for effectiveness.
The good news is that Bruce’s weight remains stable (a very good indicator) and his appetite remains strong (yes, he eats bacon, eggs and hash browns as often as he can!). He also can take care of his activities of daily living (bathing, dressing, etc.) He still has between 94 to 96% oxygen intake, even doing the stairs, and so currently will not be on oxygen. He has also had only 1 headache that was treatable with plain Tylenol (as opposed to Tylenol with codeine).
Re: his Brain Tumors:
The latest brain MRI shows the growth of 4 new lesions. Two of them are sitting on the edge of his 4th ventricle and have the greatest risk of having cancer cells enter his spinal fluid. This is something we definitely don’t want to have happen as it can lead to greater pain, incontinence, and maybe even paralysis. The doctors have suggested a procedure called Gamma Knife Radiation that has the best chance of getting rid of these tumors. It’s a short term solution (the cancer cells are likely to grow back given that he underwent full brain radiation just after his surgery and cancer cells have already grown back). The doctors think that his kind of treatment might help restore some of his balance and alleviate some of his double vision. In any event, it has the potential of making his visit to Salt Lake in June easier. (Yes, we are working on getting him in shape so he can travel!!!)
Last week Bruce had a spinal tap to see if there were any free flowing cancer cells in his spinal fluid. The great news is that they took a good sample and could not find any cancer cells. The cautionary news is that this test is not exact and may have reported a false negative. So Bruce may have another spinal tap in 6 weeks.
Re: his overall symptoms we are tracking
Bruce continues to have trouble with his balance and his double vision, and is experiencing some trouble with his hearing. He is very tired and climbing stairs can be exhausting.
He still visits grandma a couple of times a week and joins me when I take her for rides and to the park near her house to watch the ferries and other boats enter Elliot bay (where downtown Seattle is).
He would like to eat breakfast at every meal, but Barb and I can still take him into other foods.
Other Item/News
He loved getting the pictures from his nieces and nephews. They were such fun to look at. You guys were great to send them.
Where we go from here:
The doctors are optimistic about Bruce being able to travel to Salt Lake in June, especially if the gamma knife radiation procedure goes well. Keep your fingers crossed and keep him in your prayers. His goal is to get to see family and to get to see Jean so we are working hard to make this happen.
Love from all of us who are Sleepless in Seattle!!!
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